T__T

Things are so different now you're gone,

I thought it'd be easy - I was wrong.

Even though I'm with someone new, all I can think about is you...

and now, I'm caught in the middle.

@_@

Damnit, I miss you.

Lazy weekend

I was feeling really down friday. You read the last post, right?

My brother is back home and working on getting the specialists plan out the future for his son.

On top of that, the package I had ordered from G-Market, got lost at the customs and they didn't inform me about it. So when I called after 2 weeks of waiting, they said it was 'now too late' and they had returned my package. WTF. T___T

Emailed G-Market, trying to plead with them. I doubt they'll resend though. It's not their responsibility, once they've shipped the stuff out.

My husband got home and tried to call customs to see if some manly rage could get them to change their mind, but they couldn't.

He decided to make me feel better by getting me a huge bouquet of carnations (my favorite flower) and a HK-Pillow / diary.

I spent most of the day in the kitchen, because stuff like that always cheers me up. Since we're low on cash this month as well ( due to an insane bill for heating @_@ ), it's much cheaper to bake stuff than buy it at the store.

So I made some delicious snack buns and breakfast muffins. My husband instantly fell in love with the muffins, so he has ordered a big batch today as well.

I also tried to make some rum pastries. They turned out really good!

The only problem is eating them without getting sick. You cram an entire cake into these balls, so after finishing off one ball, you have actually eaten quite a gigantic piece of cake.

They turned out like this:

So Friday turned out OK after all. :3

Saturday my mother-in-law stopped by with sushi for lunch. She's very funny cause she can never finish a sentence before starting another. But she's a sweet lady. And she brought clothes for Emma (a very cute leopard track-suit with ears on the hoodie!) and we got a gift certificate to the local mall.

So when she left we went and shopped food till we dropped. *—* Now we won't be hungry the rest of the month!

I'm contemplating buying a new sewing machine. I got one from my sister-in-law, but it doesn't work properly. I came by a store the other day that has beautiful fabrics perfect for my little girl, so I kinda wanted to make her new pillows, blankets and bedding.

Depends on my income next month.

Fwee~ That's about it I think. For now.

Bad news

So.

My brother is coming home from Afghanistan this morning. He was called home on leave because it was discovered that his son (18 months old) is suffering from rather severe brain damage. His brain didn't develop properly prenatally, so now he is lacking a lot of fatty tissues and the nutrition to make it.

Hopefully, they have specialists who can help them.

Hopefully, it doesn't mean that he won't live to be more than 20 years old.

I keep my fingers crossed.

Makes me take a 2nd look at my daughter and appreciate her health.

Speaking of her..

She's soon to level up! Yesterday she managed to do a little bit of crawling across the floor. o_O;

I'm a little bored today though, so I think I will take her for a loooong walk. Kinda hard being on maternity leave when no other friends are. Haha! Everyone's at work or in school when I have the most time on my hands. Psh.

So. I'ma take a shower with precious Emma now :3

Have a great weekend.

Because of you

So.

I'd like to share the story of how I met my husband. Because it's weird and cute. And lately we have been fighting a lot so a friend of mine asked me to recall some old memories, the fond ones, to make me reconsider his current flaws.

To be honest, I've shared the story before. Not with you guys. But I wrote it down as a short story. The story is too long to be shared here, so never mind that.

Here goes:

I was diagnosed with 'anxiety attacks' after a while of uncontrollable hysterical situations where I could do nothing but curl up and cry until the fear had faded and my body stopped shaking. Horrible times. I went on medication for it instantly due to my job, which I didn't want to lose, but decided therapy would be nice to accompany it with so I could, in the long run, learn to control the mental disorder. Or at least learn how to live with it.

My doctor was nice enough to send me to a group therapy session at a large hospital in Copenhagen. I really didn't want to go the first night, cause I was already late and it was raining hard.

When I first stepped into the room, I was petrifried at the group of people there. Mostly old people, or, older than me at least. They each took their turn (very LONG turns) in explaining how their life sucked. I didn't pay attention.

But then I looked down and saw a sheet of paper that contained the names of the group's members. And I saw his name, Hiroshi. And only then looked up to spot him.

"You're Japanese?"
"How do you know? Only half though.."

"Heh. Cool."

And then, after the first therapy session, when I fled the room, he chased me down the hallway and out into the rain. All the way to the central station (quite far), and I don't even think I managed to speak a single word. He was talking that much. About his heritage, about Japan, about his anxiety attacks, about how he's never met a blonde girl that spoke Japanese.

After two sessions, I went on Facebook. To stalk him in return. To be honest, I didn't think much of him until I browsed his profile and the many pictures he had. Knowing I'd miss the next session, I sent him a message on Facebook instead. And on and on we went chatting through Facebook.

It was so much easier to talk on Facebook than face to face, when face to face is at the psychiatric ward where you spend the majority of your time wailing, while explaining how you can't control your tears at times and just think the world is about to end on you.

After a month or so, he asked me out on a date and we made out by the end of it.

A month later, he gave me a key to his apartment. The excuse was to 'expose my fears'.

A month later, I officially moved in.

And six months later, I was pregnant with his child.

Three months later, we got married.

And here we are!

Emma is growing every night it seems. So does our arguments. /sigh.

I think it's mainly because we're both at home now. In our small apartment. Driving each other crazy.

Anyway. I love him. Mostly because he will do everything for me. Honestly. I can disregard his childishness, disregard his stupid questions and I can deal with his yelling because he has a really bad temper - because I know he would do anything.

Like today. I didn't sleep so much because we moved Emma to her own bed in her room, so I woke up every hour, afraid I'd overheard her crying. So I was tired. And being tired usually brings a bad mood. So to cheer me up, he tried (I have to emphasize the word tried) to perform Nothing's Over dance by the cutesy teenage Korean pop-band Infinite. Trying his best to sing Korean. It was hilarious.

Then he took me and Emma out for lunch on a cozy café by the beach. Saved the day. ^_^

Emma had a good day today too. As you can see. Tee hee~

I looked at the internet today for hoodies and came across this.

I can't help but like it. Even though it comes with a tail!

Like the model's hair even more so. Stupid scandinavian hair that won't sit like that. T_T

I'ma just go sit on the sofa with my pineapple juice now that Emma is sleeping. G'nite!

So...

Sorry about the lack of update.

I received a new macbook computer and it has taken me ages to transfer all my stuff, update systems and profiles and whatnot. Haven't really had the time to do it either, so it took me much longer than anticipated. @_@
Anyway~

HERE I AM AGAIN.

I spent the past 10 days in a very luxurious beach house in the southern part of Jutland, Denmark. It was a five minute drive to the German border, so it was really like staying in Germany rather than Denmark.
The house had its own jacuzzi, sauna and indoor pool. So after Emma was put to bed each night, it was adult time for me and the husband.

Emma was a star child during the entire vacation. She would sleep in her regular patterns, and behave VERY well when in the stroller. Never had a hissy fit and slept the majority of the time we were out.

We did a ton of shopping - simply because we could.

We did a lot of restaurant and café trips - because we could.

It's funny how a child can limit your vacations. But we're still proud we went and had a really good time, despite we had a 3-month old baby with us.

I discovered a German fashion store that had very gyaru stylish items. It was kind of expensive too, for some items. But they had a ton of cheaper stuff like skirts and some tops. Couldn't help myself.

Despite the fact I still need to drop a massive weight after giving birth, I bought a lot of new clothes. Hopefully, a lot of it will fit soon.

It's just hard to lose weight when you're breastfeeding. You gotta eat to do that. T__T

Anyway~ I hardly have time to make a proper update. We need to unpack and clean the apartment from top to bottom. Hard work coming right up!

@_@

New update coming tomorrow. I promise. Enough with this slack!

Been a while..

While I've just recovered from a horrifying day of throwing up, I feel it's time for an update.

Not that anything extremely curious is going on in my life - unlike the rest of you bloggers out there!

As most of you know, I'm pregnant. I've got two months left till due date (although I was sure I'd throw her up along with the rest of my insides the other night) and it's very exciting!

It's only lately I've been enjoying pregnancy - now it's so obvious with the increased bulge in my shirts. Also, knowing that if anything should happen, I'll still be a mommy~

Anyway.

So, when I'm not busy trying to re-arrange everything at home with my scatter-brained nesting tendencies, or busy purchasing anything remotely cute that I'm sure my soon-to-be daughter will hate me for in the distant future, I'm working my butt off the remaining days until maternity leave.

After today, I only have 17 days left. Wohoo!

I know some of you like hearing about my work so I'll spill a few tidbits about what I'm currently occupying my awesome office with:

1) Trying to decide if we should turn off the ventilator of this poor, middle-aged woman. Seriously, the choice is ours since we are the ones paying the insanely high prices for her ICU ward.

2) Translating a Korean article for the scientific benefits of laser chemotherapy with drugs sensitive to photothermal energy (Yeah. I don't know, regardless of which language this article is gonna be in)

3) Suing a clinic in downtown Seattle, US for fraud and malpractice. So exciting ! (and at times very boring conference calls)

Besides that, I'm trying to decide if I should return to the same office when I get back from my maternity leave. Even though my job is at times exciting and at other times exceedingly boring, I sometimes feel I should be doing something else. Perhaps it's the fact that I can't decide if I should take a leap of faith and struggle to get the manager position or keep my place where I can keep up the pace. I'm not sure I can juggle both career and baby.

Anyyyyway.

I've been hooked on the new KBS drama 'Dream High'. It's for teens, obviously. But I love it.

Unfortunately it's also made me realize that when baby is done using my body, I have to take extreme measures to get my body back in shape. As much as I like being pregnant, it limits your body horribly and scars it! So I will definitely do something about it when Emma has reached the world.

I don't know how yet, but I know it'll happen. Because I'm determined like that.

Stupid, skinny and perfect-looking Korean tv teen girls!

(god I also wish the boys I knew could dance as well as they do in this drama! *drooool*)

I think I'll watch an episode. Just to make myself feel useless and crappy compared to these talented people.